Books + Articles

While my writing covers a variety of topics, here’s some work that many clients find helpful. Please visit my author site to learn more about other books and articles that may interest you.

Marry Him

The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough

A New York Times Bestseller and New York Times Editors’ Choice selection

  • Do you sometimes wonder why your relationships don’t last?
  • Does it feel like you just can’t seem to find the right partner?
  • Do you often wish that your spouse were more-this and less-that?

Marry Him shows you how to change these patterns. Drawing from the most current scientific research on love and marriage, along with surprising insights from renowned experts in the field, Marry Him helps readers both single and married discover their blind spots when it comes to finding and sustaining passionate, connected love.


“An unexpected delight…the truth can be liberating.”
— The New York Times

“Funny and relatable… anything but antiromance.”  People magazine

“Marry Him is surprisingly, unnervingly convincing.” — O, The Oprah magazine

“This impeccably researched tome is mandatory reading.”  The Huffington Post

“An honest, astute analysis… groundbreaking work.” — Booklist, starred review

“Provocative … Gottlieb encourages us to think through our own beliefs and unexamined assumptions.”  The Chicago Tribune

“The buzz surrounding Marry Him, is well-deserved… She writes with honesty and hope, and there are many people who will benefit from reading this book.”  The Examiner

“This is the smartest relationship book I’ve read in years.” AOL’s

“Marry Him is a treasure. A must-read on getting the male and female brain together in almost perfect harmony.”—Dr. Louann Brizendine, professor of clinical psychiatry at UCSF and New York Times bestselling author of The Female Brain and the The Male Brain

“This is a daring and wise book. Women and men should take Gottlieb’s message to heart: ‘Look for reasons to say yes.’ It could change your life.
—Dr. Helen Fisher, Research Professor at Rutgers University and author of Why Him? Why Her?

“Marry Him is a big fat lesson in how not to get in your own way.” —Dr. Pepper Schwartz, Ph.D., Yale University

“I have been very happily married for many years, and if my daughters ever ask me for advice about potential spouses, I plan to pass off a lot of what’s in this book as my own sage wisdom.” —Kurt Andersen, host of public radio’s “Studio 360

“Marry Him shows women how to find true happiness when seeking love—by giving them a new way to look at the world. Gottlieb manages to be hilarious yet thought-provoking, light-hearted yet profound on the questions of: Why do we fall in love? What qualities really matter in a marriage? For what reasons do we make the decisions that affect our whole lives?”—Gretchen Rubin, New York Times bestselling author of The Happiness Project

How to Land Your Kid in Therapy

Why the Obsession with our Kids’ Happiness may be Dooming Them to Unhappy Adulthoods

  • Ever feel confused as a parent?
  • Want to raise happy kids but aren’t sure how?
  • Wondering how to strike a balance between loving your child and overprotecting your child?

“How to Land Your Kid in Therapy” puts today’s parental anxiety in refreshing perspective. My cover story for the Atlantic started a lively conversation in parenting and education circles nationwide, as well as on The Today Show, CNN, NPR and Oprah Radio. Here are a few of my favorite quotes from the experts I interviewed:


“There’s a difference between being loved and constantly monitored.”  Dr. Dan Kindlon, child psychologist and lecturer at Harvard University

“Our children are not our masterpieces.” — Dr. Wendy Mogel, clinical psychologist and author of The Blessing of a B Minus

“Kids who always have problems solved for them believe that they don’t know how to solve problems.”
— Dr. Jean Twenge, Ph.D., professor and author of The Narcissism Epidemic

Stick Figure

A Diary of My Former Self

A Los Angeles Times and Washington Post bestseller, and winner of several awards including the American Library Association’s Best Books of 2001

  • Have you ever focused too much on weight and food?
  • Do you have trouble understanding the mindset of a friend or family member struggling with an eating disorder?

Stick Figure takes you on a personal journey through preteen anorexia and into the internal and cultural dynamics that shape it. This memoir is required reading in many middle and high schools across the country and is also used by eating disorder treatment centers for those in recovery. This experience has given me unique understanding and insight into how to help clients work through the complex issues that lead this down this path, and to stop using calories and mirrors as a distraction from the larger feelings underneath. As I like to say, the fear of the feelings is scarier than the feelings themselves.



“Smart, funny, and compassionate. Stick Figure stands out as a fresh, edgy take – not just on anorexia but on that perilous time in a girl’s life when she’s no longer a child but not quite an adult.”— Entertainment Weekly

“Gottlieb is full of surprising insights.”  The San Francisco Chronicle

“Funny, touching, and absolutely gripping.”  The Boston Globe

“Compelling… Hopefully, Gottlieb will stand as a patron saint for girls vulnerable to eating disorders and the adults who should be caring for them”  Booklist

“Poignant… Gottlieb is dead-on about society’s irrational attitudes toward women’s bodies.”
— The Washington Post Book World

“Gottlieb takes you through the frustration of being a young woman bombarded by an abundance of conflicting messages. ‘Did I have a disorder, or was my behavior the result of a larger disorder all around me? …who or what was ‘disordered’?’ Good question. Good book.”  Dr. Drew

“More than just a book about anorexia, Stick Figure is an entertaining and thoughtful coming-of-age story that deals with an almost universal theme – negotiating the minefields of early adolescence and living to tell the tale.”
 Martha Manning, clinical psychologist and author of Undercurrents: A Life Beneath the Surface

“Lori is a latter-day Alice: She takes us through the distorted looking glass that’s held up to young girls and into the harrowing land of eating disorders. There’s no other word for it: You will devour this book, and hopefully keep right on eating.” 
 Peggy Orenstein, New York Times bestselling author of Cinderella Ate My Daughter